My Summer Vacation

This summer I'm going to be a roadie for Mountain and change my name to Ponchatrain Wunderlich. Damn, where's that umlaut on my Compaq?

See what you've wrought Charles Babbage?

I dare you try to go the whole day without hearing a Stone Temple Pilots song on the radio.

Recap

I'm putting a sign outside my house that says "Home For Wayward Big-City Defense Lawyers."

Hang 'Em Up

I think it's time for Joe Paterno to retire. In response to a question following Penn State's spring game, Coach Paterno responded with this quote: "Are you kidding me? I'm almost eighty years old and I'm hearing The Clash's London Calling album for the first time. What a jam. Why don't you people tell me about these things earlier."

Trial By Fire

I saw a promo on MSNBC touting Countdown with Keith Olbermann as their answer to The Daily Show. If that's the case, then count me as the answer to Jim Croce.

Marshall Tucker Band B Sides

OK, now I'm confused. I had David Terrell as Benedict XVI and the Bears taking Joseph Ratzinger as the fourth pick in the draft.

Stop Making Too Much Sense

Well, it's finally tax day. Excuse me. Well, it's finally the day the media reminds everyone ad nauseum it's tax day.

Das Effects

I just googled the word "google." It was like pointing a video camera at a mirror.

Not Drudge Report

Which one of you took a mini-pizza out of my fridge?

Fishing for Guffman

Why all the ketchup packets at fast-food restuarants? They should all be like Chili's and trust the patrons with the bottle.

Disgusted

The Astros should trade Morgan Ensberg and Adam Everitt for a bunch of bats now while they've still got some value.

Progress Is Mounting

For April Fools Day, with everyone I see I will start the conversation as follows: "O.K. Here's the situation, my parents went away on a week's vacation and..."