In Hiding

I'll be partying with my buddies in the Falun Gong until this NBA playoff mess is over.

I Blame No One For This

Despite years of shock therapy, I still have an infatuation with Julia Louis-Dreyfuss and Chuck E's in Love by Rickie Lee Jones.

Cleveland Cavs Fan Parking Only

That Chinese woman that heckled President Bush and President Hu Jintao will be sorely needed behind the Washington Wizards bench come playoff time.

You're The Only Woman

Don't look now, but my dentist and his dentist friends that he shares office space with are the '70s one-hit wonder band Ambrosia.

The Sunshine Bores the Daylights out of Me

If there were a petition to burn all things related to Melissa Etheridge, I could have five thousand signatures for you by the close of business.